1 month into SL

Besides piles of RL work sitting undone as I create a second life....

I'm not sure how to start this. I have been composing it in my head for the last couple of days. I am not sure that the thoughts are going to reach the page, but...

I requested admission to Brigadoon primarily on behalf of my son. He has AS. I wanted to see what the program was before I asked for admission for him. I also wanted to come to know others with AS in order to better help him. I know life is a going to be more of a challenge for him than some people without AS and I hoped to gain some insight into what I can do to better prepare him for adulthood.

After I got to Brigadoon, I formed a third goal: investigating it as an option for stroke survivors. I am a multiple stroke survivor and also have been active on the MGH/Hasty site since 1995. One of the biggest sorrows that rings throughout each person (strokee or caregiver) is the loss of Life as they knew it. I thought it might be a possibility for creating a Second Life for those who have lost their ability to motate or verbalize but not their ability to create and have a life. While I am still considering this goal, I know how difficult it was to get even the most verbal and able communicators to be able to use the chat feature at MGH/Hasty so, while it is ever in my mind, I haven't gone much further with it. (Anyone into helping me write a grant to try it?)

In terms of the first two goals...I have had a lot of success. My son wants to go into "gaming." He is usually focussed on action games rather than creating games and has not been really keen on joining SL. However, as I have learned more about scripting, building, animations, etc. (and I admit I am still very largely a newbie), I can look at commercials on tv and his games and it is all starting to make sense. I have been talking to him about the connection between SL and the things he likes to do and I think he may want to sign up. Therefore, this will be a bridge between what he likes to do and seeing if it might fit into a career choice for him down the road. (BTW, should he ever join, I'd like to delete this post.)

I have learned more about the challenges that people with AS face... the commonalities and the differences. I don't feel like an outsider altho some may view me as such. That's the nice thing about SL and this site, it strips people of external things and lets them be who they are. My fellow community members on Brigadoon are family to me.

Brigadoon offers a safe place to refuel and create. I have missed being creative in my post-stroke life. My son does not feel that he is creative. Yet, there are so many tools available through SL to tap into pretty much any area and to allow exploration. I have learned SO much. It is a quiet place or a place to converse or a place to try out new things. It is very beneficial to have a smaller place without non-community members and in discussions with others of the Brigadoon group, it sounds as if people who have off-Brigadoon sites appreciate Brigadoon as a safe place.

Not that it doesn't have its ups and downs. After all, we are all different people with little knowledge of each other. But, it is easier to practice new communication/socialization strategies there. For example, as I've told my compatriots... I am working to separate each individual and value them for themselves. It is so easy in RL to be pulled into one faction or another, to ally with one person's thoughts or another person's actions. I am working really hard to not do that. To see each person for themselves...to understand the person outside the AS and what part the AS may have in what each of us says and does. (BTW, my husband says I am more AS than my son. It is possible with my family history but since my son is adopted, his AS is not inherited from me.) Anyway, I am making headway in changing my communication patterns... both within SL and outside of SL.

Using the typing method of communication is difficult. It takes longer than speech. But, the "History" does allow you to go back and sort out information that you may have lost when many people are talking. I can see where people who have more difficulty in typing may get frustrated. I think all of us have given up proper punctuation and spelling when the need to put an idea across is more important. And, in a way that is a plus. You, again, get to the core of the communication without making judgements about the person based on preconceptions of what a person is/is not from their writing skills.

Life outside of Brigadoon is a real opportunity as well. Some of the groups of people who hang out there are... well, let's say different from any I would encounter in my RL. Again, stereotypes can be broken down. There are a lot of helpful nice people out there with ideas different than mine who are willing to work on common projects.

The socialization factor seems to be the biggest burden in AS... from what I have seen in my son, other children in the school where I volunteer, adults I have met in my community, and the people here. It is not a unidimensional problem but it seems to me that there are recurrent threads of areas of difficulty. Brigadoon (and SL) offers a way to work through some ideas on how to deal with the lack of structure/control, miscommunication and trying to figure out what is really being said, and the isolation that life in RL can create because we just plain don't "fit." (Actually, I don't think anyone really feels like they fit. I was talking to someone at a class reunion that was a leader of the "in" crowd and she said she always felt like a misfit.)

We can support each other in exploring other ways of dealing with situations if we trust each other enough to ask for help instead of automatically accepting defeat and returning to our typical patterns of behavior. I see this positive interaction frequently in Brigadoon. It is there for the taking.

xxxx's earlier post was a good one. However, it was fraught with uncertainty (my perception) because she was putting her thoughts out there for the rest to see and not knowing if she would be adversely judged by her words. I can relate. This is hard. I am not one to open up my thoughts for group public consumption. It is threatening. Two months ago, I wouldn't have written this post. I will trust that if anyone has questions or comments that they will come to me with their thoughts so we can agree or agree to disagree.

This post has taken a completely different tack than I was intending. I hope I am not too far off the track from what you wanted/needed, John. I guess my opinion of SL and Brigadoon is that it opens up so many opportunities for learning and being creative and finding/expanding talents in yourself that you may have not otherwise discovered. You have the opportunity to meet many people with very diverse backgrounds with a common goal: Creating something...whether it is an object or a thought process or a comaraderie (sp?). You can erase mistakes with no residual. You can create a garden with no weeds. You can explore or you can retreat. It is all there. Brigadoon provides the added safety and quietness to individualize and become a part of a SMALL group.

It has been good for me and I think that soon, it may be a good for my son. He is opening his mind to the possibilities it offers. It is nice to see.