3 months into SL

Time for an update, I guess. In the last 2 months I have experienced the personal ups and downs of seeing projects succeed and fail; of relationships begun and ended; of wanting to be in SL and not; the changes in community; the changes in self; etc. that all of us experience in RL.

During a particularly frustrating time a week or so ago, I came to the realization that SL not only had a good side... in helping us to learn our creative sides, being able to explore new ways of doing things, meeting and relating to new people... it also had a negative side.

It brought into focus, in a concentrated form, my weaknesses.  I was faced with trying to deal with a situation (a communication/relationship situation) that I have had trouble with all my life.  I am a compromiser.  I found myself in a position that I felt was not compromiseable and not knowing how to make things "right," I was choosing to absent myself.  Well, sometimes that works in real life.  Often, you can avoid/sidestep the situations where you know from past behavior that will get you in trouble. I am not a quitter.  I have often stayed in bad situations in RL much longer than I should.  But, here, I had the chance to just opt out.  NO penalties... Right?

Wrong.  I really wanted to be in the environment I was in.  It was a good, creative, supportive place.  I had a role.  In rejecting that role, I lost a lot.  (Confused a few people too, I suspect.)  I thrashed around for a bit and realized that participation was more important than my feelings about what was going on.  So, then, I thrashed somemore.  Twice now, I have wanted to quit but my new found friends would listen and give me thoughts for direction (even if they didn't know it at the time).  The light bulb went off.  Why not break out of the role I had put myself in?  There is no penalty.  I don't have to worry about a job being affected by it or a RL relationship.  I can be who I choose to be.  And, I can choose to be a better me.

So, I petitioned my role back and received it.  (Thank heavens!)  Made some apolgies and have set out to explore this new way of dealing with that type of situation.  Maybe it will work... maybe not.  But, I do know that a difference has been made however subtlely (sp).  It has energized me to take a few more risks.

New topic:  I can't wait for the teen version of the game.  I am going to sign my son up as soon as I can.  I think he will benefit and will also see if it will help him decide if he truely wants to explore some aspect of gaming as a career (beyond playing them).  I love Brigadoon but I think he needs a place that he can explore without ol' mom around.  Now that I have had experience with the "game," it will be easier helping him to get started.  Then, it will be up to him to take off.  It may not turn out to be his cup of tea but at least it opens a door.

Brigadoon:  Thanks everyone for your support, your openness.