a duet

a duet
by scott and the mascot

a brief history-   scott requested to compose a thank you sort of post to/for his mascot.  the mascot who hates to dwell  on her good qualities, squirmed and became very uncomfortable. but with the hightest respect towards scott's passion to express what he wanted her to know, she pursued his request.

round one would be to have his mother work with him on a primary draft, key thoughts important to him.  the mascot then would go through them one by one allowing him to follow his thoughts and to express them to his satisfaction on contentment.   this took many sessions and painfully long lengths of time between them.

the mascot being allowed to see scott, knew much of what he probably wanted to say, as they talk with their eyes deeply.  fewer words, much weight in them.  she knew she knew, but not as he wanted her to know.  they turned the composition into this duet.   

scott is refered to as the mascot's shadetree, a long established term of endearment.  the mascot is, well the mascot.  the treasures of the heart are the most valuable of all. 

for many reasons, may others see...  may others know....  may we all grow...

my favorite mascot
SCOTT REQUESTS THIS BE READ  SLOW

my favorite mascot you do not know
all you mean to me
nor do you the countless times
you've set my worries free

you can not know the gratitude
that burns everyday
for i'm so thankful to the stars
you happened cross my way

oh shadetree fair how can you know
the comfort in your shade
sitting next to you my friend
all the worries quickly fade

i know you see it in my face
tho i wish it were not so
you smile at me, and its all gone
now is left a soothing glow

mascot, friend, then you too know
the joy that floods my soul
knowing you come here to rest
and feel a bit more whole

just rest a spell and share a smile
i give them all for you
drink them in and sit awhile
take a break from all you do.

fact as you rest let me talk
and say a few things true
about what i appreciate
when i think of you

thank you for asking me
and making me feel a part
for showing me worlds i never knew
for talking with my heart

you listen when all are gone
you know when i've something to say
you do not stop till i am done
you touch me every day

you know i'm bigger, you see within
what others do not see
you notice all those little things
that makeup the me of me

it matters much to me- so know
regardless what others may say
you make my world a better place
every single day

i know you look
i know you see
i know you hear my voice

i know you care
i know you dare
i know you have a choice

my favorite mascot you can not know
all that you mean to me
nor do you the countless times
you've set my being free

you can not know the gratitude
that burns stronger everyday
nor all the joy i have inside
you happened cross my way

oh shadetree dear how can you know
the warmth within your shade
sitting next to you so safe
all the worries all do fade

i know you see it in my face
tho i wish it were not so
then you smile at me, and its all gone
now is left the warmest glow

Posted by group mascot on March 1, 2005 at 03:33 PM in scott's writings | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

scott on his perfect day

this post was written in four stages.  scott is here while its being written, and he's asked his dear friend mary to be with him during the process.  both are drinking in the tale~

scott on his perfect day

i would begin my perfect day by coming to my favorite day program of all times in the usual way. however! from the moment i pull up in my van i notice it is not a usual day, for the red sox and patriots buses would be parked in front all standing line to greet us!  what a lovely surprise for everyone! 

one by one as we exit our vans they greet us with excited conversation, and hand us winning banners --- for all! i'm so excited its like a dream come true! i just cant believe my eyes!

we go in and share a simple breakfast with them. everyone is laughing and having a great time! i get my picture taken with both teams. then almost as suddenly as they came, they leave.

still very excited from the afterglow, my dear friend mary and i go into the computer room. just the two of us (and the mascot). we go straight to the blog! mary and i begin to post an essay on what it means to have a friend, and a partner to do things with. someone who makes life, your life, better just because they share it with you.  (=  we make this post so good that others read it and are inspired and it changes their lives in a small way.

to be continued after lunch~

after we've written a truely inspirational post on how two are strong then one, we move into our favorite online world, we both go play second life!  just the two of us~   we're gonna just play!

we do things in second life together that we have never done there before. we go club hopping! we find the hottest most fun happenin club in all of second life! there we dance and dance, after awhile we decide to go check out some inworld casinos. every slot machine we play gives us a  payout!  we cant help but laugh~  its too perfect to be real!   

we are enjoying my perfect day so very much. to celebrate our winnings we go to everyplace in the finder menu's top picks and explore!! we find things we never dreamed exsisted and laugh a lot!  mary's having fun too.  which makes me have more fun. 

we stay inworld until our vans come and we have to head home. only in this, my perfect day, i bring my  friend mary home to my house for dinner and games.

everyone is in a party mood at my house. my favorite meal has been fixed and they made mary's favorite dessert! after dinner they turn on our new video camera purchased just for my special day. we tape a full evening of games where everybody wins. we laugh and then laugh some more until its time for us to go to bed. i like seeing everyone so happy around me~  mary goes home in a limousene with the nicest driver!

just before i go to bed, i call my mom and tell her ALL about my dream day! she can hear how happy i am. i can tell she's happy too! that is the cherry on top! i've had the most perfect of perfect days.

scott

Posted by group mascot on February 7, 2005 at 05:26 PM in scott's writings | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

in your cozy world

in your cozy world
by scott

scott asks that you please
READ VERY SLOWLY

i see you there in your cozy world
laughing with your friends
as i sit so close
so far
so alone
screaming at the top of my lungs
tho noone hear
 
darkness cold
aching pain  blinding silence
i can't get out
i can't get out!
and theres none who can help
 
i want you to touch me
see me
reach me hear me
know
but, alas,  how can you?
i am deeply covered
with no escape
 
its like drowning
or burning alive
or being buried alive
or walking for weeks in the desert
or sub zero wind that rips through your soul
 
i'm alone inside of my shell
i'm a captive without hope
without light
without companionship
so very alone
 
sometimes i cant breathe
or think
or know anything else but the aloneness
it strangles me
buffets me
mocks me
 
i cry
and no one sees
i cry out
but no one hears
i speak to you so many many things
but they do not leave my mouth
nor venture beyond my mind
 
i see you there in your cozy world
laughing with your friends
as i sit so close
so far
so alone
SCREAMING at the top of my lungs
tho noone hear

~~~

please see scott's other writings in wilde's writings on the main live2give page.

Posted by group mascot on January 30, 2005 at 11:22 AM in scott's writings | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

a word with scott

scott said yesterday he wants to imput into folks, to let them know some of his challenges.   in part to teach the world.  certainly not from a sence of personal sorrow.

tho~ not talking can be hard NOT to feel sorry or frustrated about at times.  it can try the heart of the best! 

scott is at peace with hisself.

scott  has very limiting cp.  he lives in a group home with 3 other peers.   he is happy.  a sport's fiend.  very very close to his family who are truely a family of friends.  they share many happy laugher filled times as a family, and he gets to see them every couple of weeks or so.  (=

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
what if you have a lot to say and so little time in which to say it??

all the same feelings, thoughts, questions, ideas, small talk, humor....  its all there!!

there are lots of ways to communicate, which each of us take for granted.
me??  well, i most often use yes, no and ty with speech... those are hard enough to get out, taking time and energy.   i have other phrases, words if i choose, depending on whose listening and if they can recognize them or not. 

i also have a picture board with primary pictures i strain to point to if that seems easier to get my point accross.   i am in my mid 30's...    i have much to say.  what can a picture board do for me??   pictures are so very very limited!!!         still, life would sure suck if i didnt have my picture board!  thats an undestatement!  i depend on my tray.  it is almost like a piece of my body.   

the goup mascot, who is typing this for me would say that my understanding of hard and complex issues in life supercedes that of my average world peer. 

i have listened to much over my life.   many many settings, situations.   sometimes listening--then thinking, makes you smarter.   the mascot is continually blown away by the depth of my understanding, and of the choices i make, my whys...

lets say i have an idea for a group activity we all want to do.  how can i tell you?
first how do you know i have something to say?  there is a busy and active room about us generally, and even if its mellow and i have your undevided attention...  how do i start?

i tense up.  i change my face.  my whole body look is different.  (=   
so you ask what..  i confirm i've something to say usually by smiling or by going to my board or by an intense waiting stance...  you begin to offer me catagorical options to choose from...   hopefully within 10 guesses you are right hahaha... if not we keep going.  then selections are made until we come to the FIRST part of my communication.  maybe we have isolated it ... or at least come close.   

close has to be good enough sometimes.  specifics can be very tricky to convey in our very real world.  and sometimes close took us a long time to get to.  so we are happy with close!

some times you have to give up.  it may be burning inside you to be said, important even, but sometimes you have to give up and let it go.   either from the frustration levels of one party, the hopelessness of a breakthrough, time, or just you dont have the strength to keep going right now.

hopefully we will come back to it.
hopefully the breakdown in communication wont have super serious consequences... but really... what can ya do??  certainly we try harder than most to communicate well.   sharing, talking---  we never take those things for granted.  riches they are..   and we know it.

mind you its not always like that.  the more you work with a person the better they get to understanding you and what you might be apt to say.   its not that theres never understanding.  but that its priceless when it flows, and especially easily. 

what sucks beyond words to describe is when you have someone whose worked with you long enough to know pretty much what you mean, they are intuitive to your sways, directions, can finally understand more of your vocabulary.  some never get it even after years!!!  what sucks beyond words to describe is when that person you love with more than your soul goes and moves on.  boom!  crash!   kathuddd!!   not ony are they gone but some extreamly green newbie is now needing to be trained heh.  what a long process!  sigh...  oh well what can ya do....  at least you get to meet a lot of nice people.  thats always good.  and from time to time ya get one who sticks around a bit.

my mom...  i have to talk about my mom.  perhaps i will write a whole notecard about her soon.   my mom understands and is amazing.   no post could ever do her justice or the gratitude i have for beien given a mother who is such a wonderful friend!  i was born on christmas and she's always delighted i was her christmas baby, but honestly i think shes just as much my christmas gift from above as i am hers.   

words, so simple, so powerful.   may you always use them wisely~

Posted by group mascot on January 13, 2005 at 06:55 AM in scott's writings | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

because of you, a poem for scotts mom

because of you

what can i say to the  woman who fills my heart with song
whose brought me up to be a man, whose taught me right from wrong
whose understood my hopes and dreams and always been right there
to dry my tears, and calm my fears and shown me how to care

what can i say to the dearest soul, whose been my truest friend
whose support has steered n reared n cheered me on through each twist n turn n bend?
whose strength of heart has taught me much to be what i should be
avoiding many pitfalls, without her where would i be?

because of her my world makes sence
my futures filled with hope
because of her i can give back
and help others now to cope

because of her i am me
and such a joy i have of heart
because of her i am so full
we're never far apart

thank you mom for all youve done
and all youve given me
another would have never done
your love has set me free

i love you mom
your adoring son
scott

you are the happiest moment of my life!

this poem was read in world by scott's mom.  she's raised an awesome son, one of my dearest truest friends!

Posted by group mascot on January 13, 2005 at 06:25 AM in scott's writings | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack